The evolution of the American Family is characterized by children growing up fatherless and society’s view on marriage and family values changing.
The nuclear family that once consisted of a mother, father, and children is often a single-parent household, usually with a mother in the home.
The truth of the matter is that fatherlessness is a social problem very prevalent in our society.
What Changed?
For the most part, up until the 1950s, married couples stayed together, with few marriages ending in divorce. The family unit was important to Americans, and both parents played an active role in their children’s lives. Americans also held views that encouraged couples to stay together and understood that divorce had a detrimental effect on a child’s well-being.
Fast forward to today, the only thing we hear is that divorce is better for the kids.
However, I feel this is only a coverup statement to justify our lack of commitment towards the marriage vows we happily exchanged when we said through good or bad times. If only couples committed to working out their differences and model that for the children; instead, we see more couples take the easy way out.
It is important to note that most divorces involving children in America are not in the children’s best interests.
The After Effect
As a result, we have lost touch with the values that once shaped our views of marriage and our families. Cohabitation is a new reality, and more children are living in single-family households.
“Nearly four of every ten children in the United States are growing up in homes without their biological fathers. In low-income households, the rate is even higher.” [1]
Fathers play a vital role in their children’s lives, yet many are growing up without a father figure.
It is essential to point out that children are more likely to become fatherless during their childhood, and the effects of divorce detrimental to their well-being. Fatherlessness is an epidemic with many implications.
“Children who grow up without the active involvement of a father increase the likelihood of poverty, crime, abortion, teen pregnancy, school dropouts, suicide, and child abuse.” [2]
We have all these implications, and when something goes wrong, and our children get in trouble, aren’t we quick to correct the behavior without really analyzing the root of the problem? Myself included.
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We never stop to consider that divorce negatively impacts our children and when the father leaves the home it is a form of rejection or abandonment.
It is much easier to deal with the behavior instead of healing the heart.
And I say heart because when situations happen in childhood, all of the trauma takes root in the heart; it’s a heartbreak. Some of us still have undealt issues from childhood. We sort of dust it under the rug, so to speak, or let time do the healing.
In reality, we are only allowing our childhood trauma to become an extra weight we carry on our shoulders for the rest of our lives if we don’t properly learn to handle our pain.
Regardless of the father having a visitation schedule, things are never the same. Why? Because time with their children is severely limited, many fathers strive to make sure their children enjoy themselves when they are with them and less time engaging in behaviors most associated with improvements in child well-being, like authoritative parenting. [1]
Reacting to Change
I am not here to judge anyone. I get that divorce is sometimes out of our control because that was my case many years ago when my ex-husband had an affair and did not want to work things out between us.
Divorce is devastating.
I understand the millions of people with similar experiences because I’ve gone through it myself. That is how I can be straightforward with the facts but also empathize with you.
God has called me to spread hope to the millions of fatherless families of today.
Therefore, I want to encourage every single-mom, grandparent, child, and teenager that you are not forgotten. The God of the Universe has promised to bring justice to you, the fatherless.
Sometimes we get too caught up thinking about our circumstances that we forget that we have a Heavenly Father who is willing to shower us with unconditional love, and we don’t realize he’s been there all along.
Let’s change that today by opening our hearts to God and asking him to come into our lives as a Father.
Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.
Psalm 27:10 NLT
What a wonderful verse that paints a beautiful picture of our loving Father because that is exactly what we are–children of God!
May God restore everything the enemy stole from you or your family. Please know that I am praying for you.
♥ Blessings!
References
[1]Horn, W. F. (2006). Fatherhood, cohabitation, and marriage. Gender Issues, 23(4), 22–35.
[2]Lamb, G. E. (2017). Fatherlessness: Implications for God’s word, church, and world. Christian Education Journal, 14(1), 99–108.
